Denmark is one of the countries in the world that on the surface seems to have evolved most when it comes to equal rights between the genders. Unfortunately, the idea of equal rights has become synonym with sameness. It is close to being a taboo to think that men and women differ from each other.

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In Denmark, you seem to have to think that gender is a social construction. Therefore, it is best to eradicate the differences. Because if we don’t, we can never have equal rights.

The debate suffers from the fact that psychology is strongly influenced by politics as a science. The dominating theories seem to follow the dominating politics and not least financial situation.One can choose several perspectives on the Parental Responsibility Act and its consequences. One perspective is that violence is always damaging. Or that in case of divorce the child should be with the most competent parent. Or with the primary caretaker – all else equal. And that children should never be handed over to violence and sexual assault the way it is happening in Denmark.(By all else equal we mean in cases where the primary caretaker does not suffer from damaging addictions, psychiatric conditions or other circumstances that could endanger the child’s health.)The Network Mom agrees to all of those perspectives. There are also situations in which the mother is not able to care for the child. Or where the father has been the primary caretaker from the beginning.

One thing is for certain: When the primary caretaker is stalked, flooded in cases in the State Administration, has to take part in one court case after another (for some it lasts for 5 or 10 years in a row), is accused of defamation, is the victim of one character assassination after another, is drowned in thousands of aggressive emails (per year), has her emails hacked, has her Internet hacked, has her bank account shadowed, etc, this brings the primary caretaker under so much pressure that the children are affected.

This is NOT caused by a character flaw in the primary caretaker. It is caused by the fact that one cannot separate the best interest of the primary caretaker from the best interest of the child the way the State Administration does it today.

In the Network Mom, we do think there is a relevant gender perspective. Women experience certain circumstances, which are most relevant to women. And some circumstances, which are ONLY relevant to women. We find that we get the most relevant and enlightening debate by treating those subjects from a gender perspective. (And the same goes for men.)

One of the most taboo subjects here in Denmark is probably that women have a “2-in-1 body”-experience with the children. But that is almost forbidden to talk about in Denmark. On debate pages, when someone does bring it up, the author is verbally lynched.

That a women has a womb is not a welcome fact in Denmark. On the contrary, much propaganda is released to make it completely irrelevant to parenthood.

It is not irrelevant to women! At least not to most women.

The Network Mom focuses on the woman’s perspective. And insists on breaking the taboo, which is actually preventing us from progressing in the debate.

That doesn’t mean that we accept or support violence or lack of care when committed by women. It also doesn’t mean that we don’t recognize that men can be good parents. It just means that on this page, it is the woman’s perspective we want to highlight.

A gender perspective is not a gender fight.