The Mom Network has looked at a dilemma, which is relevant to ALL parents: Whom does your child play with and who is their parents?
We know of several cases where a biological father has sexually abused a child during visitation. The child has received long-term treatment at the Center for Sexual Abuse at the State Hospital. This treatment is well documented with heavy files. The father, however, was not convicted, because they didn’t find DNA evidence on the child. They rarely do.
When the treatment is completed, the State Administration requires the visitation with the father to continue, because the child is now doing better. There is nothing the mother can do. According to the law, the mother is not allowed to inform other parents of the father’s abuse.
Schools and daycare centres often know about the statements of abuse but they are required to remain neutral and they are not allowed to inform anyone of the situation.
In spite of the abuse, the State Administration forces unsupervised visitation to continue. Often, the child has to stay with the father 4 or 6 days every second week. Thus, it is natural that the child will have play-mates over to the house of the abuser after school.
The Mom Network wonders how other parents deal with this dilemma:
1. Would you let your own child go to the house of a parent, who has abused their own child, but was not convicted?
2. Would you give this parent the benefit of the doubt and bet your own child?
3. The mother is not allowed to inform you about the abuse. Is this ok?
4. Should the mother go against the law and inform you about the abuse – thus risking that her own child becomes isolated and that it starts a lot of rumours?
This is yet another example of how our legal system protects the abuser instead of the child. And they place the protective parent in an unreasonable dilemma.